Tuesday, January 15, 2013

count it all JOY: 8 Jan 2013

I should go to sleep, but I don't. Instead, I start reading a new blog. Her words hit me as I read them. Tears fill up in my eyes. The words prove I'm not the only one and I'm not alone. It has clearly been God's message to me lately.

You are NOT alone.

I may feel like I'm the only one in my situation, but I'm not. And I can choose my feelings and reactions to where I'm at in life. And this year, I'm choosing joy.

My alarm softly disrupts my reading. 10:30 PM. I push dismiss and put my phone down to reach over for the blue sleeve of pills. They are supposed to help stop the pain. Pain that my "healthy" body gives me almost every month. This is a part of me needing to choose joy through this pain. My bloated stomach makes me angry. Because my head is telling me it is fat and that I need to do something about that.

I continue reading. I should go to bed, but I can't put it down. I'm so relieved to have found a blog with such honesty and where I can more closely relate. And not find myself wishing about the other person's trip, family, new house project, wedding, pregnancy, etc. They are good blogs. But this one is better for my heart.

"Only when we understand that the reason we are to count it all joy is not because of the experience, but because of the result of the experience."  (from The Dream Giver)

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